


Falling Through the Pages

by LeviSqueaks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Gen, Help I fell into a book hole and can't get out, Or maybe just a cup of coffee, Outlander - Freeform, Outlander Bingo Square: "Crack", Steve needs help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviSqueaks/pseuds/LeviSqueaks
Summary: Steve Rogers just needed a new book to read so he could catch up on his pop culture and have something to do that didn’t involve strangling Tony Stark. When he visits a little bookstore in Brooklyn, he gets caught up in a series that captures his attention. (It’s basically MCU/Meta for Outlander)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3
Collections: Outlander Bingo Challenge





	Falling Through the Pages

**Author's Note:**

  * For [carpelucem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpelucem/gifts).



> Written for the delightful and wonderful Carpelucem who inspired this story by commenting on all of our fanfictions with her Cap avatar front and center. Happy Birthday, Carpe!

Steve took a deep breath, hunching his shoulders as he jogged up the steps of the subway into the sunshine on Lafayette Street. He craned his neck left and right then turned to make his way to the bookstore on Fulton. He breathed in deeply, shocked to the core at how different it all was. There was still that underlying feeling that yelled _Brooklyn_ , the easing of his shoulders at the feeling of home. But it was muffled under the noise and traffic, the upscale shops and crush of cars. Even the air smelled different than he remembered. 

When he had woken up from the ice, his entire world had crashed down around him. Sure he was looked after, given guidelines of how the world had changed. But no amount of reading about the advances of civilization prepared you for the truth of it all. He sighed and shoved his hands in his coat pockets, walking quickly toward the store and hoping not to be noticed. He used to be invisible to the world around him. Now he had to pray his height and build didn’t attract enough attention for people to see beyond the baseball cap and glasses. 

Spotting the bookstore, he crossed the street and stepped inside, relief filling him at the quiet. The familiar scent of book glue and paper relaxed the corded muscles in his back and he looked around with interest. The store was quiet, a browser or two wandering the aisles. He walked to one of the display tables and picked up a book curiously. Murder mystery. He wasn’t sure what the appeal was there, he had read a few that Natasha had lent him but he could never relax while reading them. He always got too caught up on the whodunit to enjoy the intrigue, his mind racing to solve the mystery. 

He wandered around the stacks, finding himself drawn to the science fiction section. He struggled with everything, and even more with the team. They tried of course. Tony had walked in one day, blabbing a mile a minute but left, leaving behind a box full of art supplies. Bruce had come in, offered him a few films queued up that helped him understand more of what had happened since he had gone under in a way that the briefing files hadn’t. Natasha would drag him away when he got too caught up in his head to spar or go to a club. He hated both experiences, too self-conscious to relax. But he was able to get everything off his mind for a while when he read. And these felt like home. When he had found a book laying around, he had picked it up and delved in, trying to get his mind off his racing thoughts. Tony had seen him, and in his own bumbling way tried to help. He waltzed in one day as Steve was finishing up the aforementioned murder mistery and handed him a kindle. He had brightly explained how to use it and pushed it into Steve’s hands, promising unlimited funds. But Steve couldn’t stand the screen and missed the feeling of real pages in his hand. So he had looked up the bookstore and here he was. 

He wandered over to the science fiction section once he saw the sign. He had loved science fiction as a kid and he pulled out the list he had made of recommendations from the team over the past week. Bruce had mentioned _The Martian_ , Tony had suggested “anything by Asimovso he grabbed both after a few moments of searching. Still… he wanted something of his own, so he continued wandering. 

He fiddled with the books in his hands and looked around before a voice came up behind him. “Hi there, can I help you find anything?”

Steve startled and whirled around to confront the short boy staring up at him. He was in his 20s like Steve, but thin with a shock of bright purple streaks in his black hair. His face was kind and his big blue eyes stared up at Steve expectantly. 

“Uh no, thank you,” Steve said, “I’m just looking right now.” 

The boy nodded and smiled at him. “Sure, well I’m Jesse, let me know if you need anything, okay?” 

Steve nodded and turned back to browse the shelves. He took his time in the relaxing atmosphere, picking up several books to read before discarding them. He ended up in the best-sellers section and stared around before one caught his eye. He picked up the book, _A Breath of Snow and Ashes_ and turned it over to read the back. 

_It is 1772, the eve of the American Revolution, and the long fuse of rebellion has already been lit. Governor Josiah Martin calls upon Jamie Fraser—_

“Oh, uh… sorry, you don’t want that one… I mean unless you’ve read the rest of the series?” Jesse asked behind him, startling Steve from reading the cover. 

Steve turned to look at Jesse and blinked behind the wide rimmed glasses he wore to “disguise” himself, “Sorry, son?”

That seemed to swell some pride in Jesse because his shoulders lifted and he repeated himself. “You don’t want that one, unless you’ve read the other books? That’s book six, you want to start with _Outlander_ ,” the boy said as he turned and walked a few shelves down and then strained toward one out of reach. He stood glaring up at the shelf for a long moment, a soft mutter that Steve couldn’t make out as the boy grabbed a shelf above his head like he was about to climb it. 

Steve smirked and walked over. He knew that tactic, remembered using it from time to time himself. “ _Outlander_ , huh?” he asked and tugged the blue covered book to look at it. “They’re pretty thick… are they worth the time?” 

Jesse muttered something, the only words he caught being “unfair” and “giant” which made Steve’s lips twitch in amusement. “Yeah I mean… some of it can be a little problematic I guess but it was written in like the early 90s and really it’s only super disservable to the LGBTQ community… though she did give us Lord John so… Ah sorry. Yes, they’re really good, super in depth and she worked pretty hard to make it historically accurate. She’s got a good story-telling voice. It’s kind of historical drama and romance and science fiction and action-adventure all at once. I haven’t actually met anyone who didn’t like it.” Steve was grinning at the end of the mini rant he had inadvertently drawn from the clerk and he quickly put _Breath of Snow and Ashes_ back before nodding. “Sold then. Thanks for your help, Jesse.” 

Jesse blushed but gave a jerky nod and fidgeted with his apron. “Yeah uh… of course…” Steve realized he hadn’t introduced himself and decided to take the chance. “Steve.” 

Jesse’s eyes widened a little and he cleared his throat and nodded. “Of course, Steve. Are you ready to check out?” he asked before darting past him toward the counter without quite waiting for an answer. 

Steve chuckled and followed after the shorter man, paying for his books and taking the bag with his receipt. He smiled at Jesse and then waved as he walked to the door. “Thank you, Jesse. I’ll see you later.” 

“Uh yeah, bye, Steve!” came the quick response before the door shut and Steve was stuck back in the noise and bustle of the city. He looked around and sighed before making his way back to the subway. He was going to stop at the deli on his way back to the tower. Pastrami sounded great. 

~_~_~

Steve had expected a good romance novel the way that Jesse had described the books to him. What he hadn’t expected was to be sucked into a tense and wild ride following Claire through her journey in the 40s. He hadn’t bothered to read the cover, so getting involved in Claire’s story felt like a step into his own past. He didn’t know how it felt to say they’d won the war (though he knew they had) but the relief of a battle over was achingly familiar and he was riveted by the tale. The reconnection issue was also poignant as Steve felt echoes of his own inability to connect to those around him. To them, he was too stern, straight-laced, unfeeling… he didn’t mean to be any of these things. Instead, he struggled with every sudden loud noise, with every new experience. He tried so hard to integrate but he hadn’t just come back from the war, he’d come back to another time. Steve lost himself in Claire’s journey, his own stomach swelling with the thought of settling down. He couldn’t wait to see how she and Frank did. Would they have a child? Get divorced? Maybe they would go find another war… Jesse had said it was action-packed. Reading further, he wondered if Claire would get into archeology like Uncle Lamb. Or if she would get caught up in the ancestry search with Frank. Steve sat on the couch, book gripped tightly in hand, glass of water abandoned and forgotten beside him until Natasha’s hand fell on his shoulder. He startled and stared up at her. 

"Hi. I called your name a couple times, a little lost in the book?" she asked kindly. 

Steve nodded and slipped his bookmark in place before setting it down. He absolutely wasn't upset for being interrupted. He just… suddenly wished he had read in his room. "It's a good book," he agreed. "What's going on, is everything alright?" 

Natasha paused, choosing her words. "A few of us were going to get food. I thought you might like to join us? Tony is paying."

Steve offered a wry smile. "Tony always pays. Thanks, but I picked something up on the way back from the store." It was as much a desire to avoid being in public with Tony as it was to return to his book. 

Natasha gave him a long, searching look. He hated the feeling of her scrutiny, her face pinched in a look of pain. Eyes nearly watering as they stared into his own. Finally she nodded once and turned to leave. "Bye then. Don't stay up too late."

Steve acknowledged her before delving immediately back into his book. Claire and Frank had watched the witches on Beltane and Claire was going back up to the stone circle. He wondered if this would lead to some great discovery. 

*~*~*

Some indiscernible time later, Steve was startled from sleep by a noise, the lights off and a throw thrown over him. Outlander was sitting on the coffee table in front of him, a bookmark sticking out of the pages to denote his place. His heart thundered as he stared at it and he quickly reached for it again. He couldn’t hear anything that might have awoken him and he realized that it could very well have just been a dream instead.

Waking up like this, on the uncomfortable sofa, drew him back to that small apartment he had in Brooklyn and he suddenly didn’t want to think about any of it. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face as he drained his water and got up to get another glass. Was he ever going to feel at home? 

The melancholy feeling made him think of Claire and his eyes drifted back over to the blue covered book. Claire had just woken up and he wanted to know what happened next. Steve found himself drawn back to the couch but shifted to sit in the armchair instead. It was more comfortable for prolonged sitting and he didn’t want to have to interrupt his reading. Time passed as Steve sank deeper and deeper into the novel. He didn’t notice, so engrossed in the pages and Claire’s calamitous fall through time, but dawn approached and passed in the shaded windows behind him. It wasn’t until he heard a clang in the kitchen that he was jerked from his stupor. Natalie was sitting across from him, sipping tea and watching him with one of those blank expressions on her face. “Good book?” she greeted him, kindly foregoing the acknowledgement that he hadn’t even noticed her sitting across from him or smelled the fragrant tea in her cup. “It’s very good, I’ll lend it to you when I’m done if you like?” he offered as he resettled himself. He grimaced as his body came alive and his bladder demanded immediate attention. He was so close to finishing, though!

“That sounds nice. What is it, a mystery?” 

Steve settled the bookmark into the pages and set the book aside so he could move and use the restroom. The question startled him. “No it’s a period drama, thriller, fantasy novel? I think that is how Jesse described it to me.” 

Natasha’s eyes grew calculating. Steve hated that look. Her lips curled lightly before they were hidden behind the rim of her teacup. “Jesse?” 

“Yes, a nice young man who helped me at the bookstore,” Steve deflected. 

There was a slow uptick in one perfectly groomed, red eyebrow that sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. He swallowed and excused himself so he could freshen up. Getting to his rooms had been a bit of a hassle. He couldn’t believe it was nearly 7 and he had been up all night with the book. Still, he was eager to return to it, to see where Claire and Jamie ended up. He couldn’t believe all the twists and turns that had gripped him through the night but he had to know how it all ended up. Maybe there was a part of him that hoped a positive ending for Claire could mean the same for himself? It was likely too early for that sort of philosophical thought, but he would take solace in her journey. Besides, he knew already there were at least 6 books. So it had to end on somewhat of a positive note, didn’t it? 

~*~*~

Three hours later, Steve pushed open the door to the Bookstore on Fulton. He glanced around to see if Jesse was there, but found him strangely absent from the front. Shrugging, he made his way over to the familiar section to see if he could find book two. He couldn’t believe that Jamie and Claire were heading to France. He was disgusted by the events at Wentworth and desperate to see how Jamie and Claire pulled through after such a harrowing experience. He didn’t understand how they had gotten away with that graphic assault, though he knew it was sadly prevalent as a method of torture. Steve grabbed three of the books on the shelf, his hand trembling slightly. He should have actually eaten the sandwich he had gotten yesterday… or something this morning. His stomach cramped with hunger and he blushed as it growled ferociously in response to the lack of food. 

“Hi, Steve!” 

Steve whirled around and smiled at the familiar face of the short man in front of him. “Good Morning, Jesse,” he greeted him. 

Jesse looked him up and down and snorted. “Did you stay up all night to read _Outlander_? You look like you forgot to sleep.” 

Steve opened his mouth to protest, to share that he had actually slept a few hours but then his stomach interrupted them. 

“Or eating, apparently.” Jesse laughed and he shook his head in amusement. “Back in for the sequel?” 

Steve liked that Jesse could carry on the conversation so effortlessly. He ended up just chuckling in response. “Yeah I uh… couldn’t put it down. I did forget to eat, but I got a few hours of sleep.” 

Jesse laughed and he plucked _Dragonfly in Amber_ out of Steve’s hands and waved it at him. “This is book two, but you gotta promise to eat something and take a nap before you start it.” 

Steve smiled down at the shorter man. He wasn’t sure why but Jesse just made him feel cosy and at home. “I suppose, if I must. I can’t break my word so that’s a pretty solemn vow to take. What if I promise to make my food and sit down with it and the book at the same time?” 

Jesse gave him a disapproving look in response as he plucked the others from Steve’s hand and jumped to shove them back on the shelf. “No dice,” he informed him firmly. “Eat first. Do you need someone there to watch over you and make sure you’re getting appropriate nutrition? You seem like the kind of guy to eat, like… a small side salad made entirely of kale and sadness with bland chicken on top and call it filling.” Jesse poked Steve in the bicep as if to emphasize his point and then flushed red. 

Steve stared at the younger man for several long moments before he promptly burst into laughter. It could be the lack of sleep or the empty stomach. Or maybe it was the bright red blush across the book clerk’s face, but something inside of Steve eased and he flashed a wide smile at Jesse. “Now, son, I don’t know what in the world people see in kale and I like my chicken well seasoned, but I appreciate the concern. I’ll make sure to eat breakfast before I start the book.” 

Jesse’s flush deepened and he nodded, hands spasming at his sides. “Yeah! Uh… yeah good? Good! You do that… ready to check out?” He stammered the reply, eloquence had apparently escaped him. 

Steve nodded and paid for his book when they got to the counter before he tossed a wave with the book. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

“Not too soon! Sleep and Food!” 

~*~*~

Steve figured it didn’t really count if he started the book on the train. And it hardly seemed like a crime to read as he walked back to the tower, stopping on the way to pick up a pizza from that place down the street he liked. He was captured by returning to the 40s. Finding out more about wee Roger and reading Claire’s journey as she tried to find Jamie. 

He did manage to put the book down once he got upstairs in order to focus on his food, but once devoured, Steve spent the next four hours wrapped in his book. He couldn’t help but lose himself in the intrigue and dangers of France and how Claire and Jamie navigated the courts trying to stop the battle of Culloden. 

He couldn’t put the book down when he found out about Faith. He couldn’t breathe when he read about Fergus. The plot gripped him and he spent the last hour on the literal edge of his chair, muscles tense and near spasming due to how much he clenched them while waiting for the resolution, the next twist, a conclusion that was sure to raise more questions than it answered. 

Steve had disappeared into his room to read this time, uncomfortable with the stares and curiosity that he got from the others. He didn’t want to deal with Natasha’s calculating looks or Tony’s babbling. Therefore, the seven hundred odd pages seemed to fly by. He couldn’t believe he had stayed up through the night again, but he needed to know what happened next. He couldn’t leave it there. He needed to find out what happened. Roger had told Claire and Brianna that Jamie hadn’t died… he had to find out more. 

Steve stumbled outside in the pre-dawn light and hailed a taxi to take him to the bookstore. He was deposited in front of it 3 hours before opening and bleary eyed from a lack of caffeine or sleep. He stumbled across the road to Starbucks and paid too much for a plain coffee. But it was enough to wake him up as he stumbled to the stoop across the street to wait for Jesse. It occurred to him after his coffee cup was drained and the newspapers began to hit the pavement that maybe it would be Jesse’s day off and he was about to concern some other young book clerk with his desperate need to find out what happens next in the books. He hadn’t completely missed the concerned looks he had received from his teammates and that one nice lady on the subway. 

Maybe it was time for him to start pacing himself? Steve dozed on the steps until someone nudged him with their toe. “Hey… Steve?” His eyes snapped open and he looked up to find Jesse biting his lip and staring down at him in concern. “Dude… Steve, you look terrible. What the hell, man? You really need to take a break with the books.” 

Steve sighed at the judgemental tone and stood up, cracking his back and brushing off his pants. “I’m fine. I even got a few hours of sleep,” he assured Jesse with a small smile as he followed the man into the bookstore. He pointedly ignored the disbelieving scoff as he plucked _Voyager_ from the shelf and approached the front table. His phone chirped and he tugged it out to stare at it before blanching. “Here, keep the change, I’ve got to go,” he said quickly, handed Jesse a twenty, and dashed out of the store. “Steve!” But the words were lost as the door closed behind Steve as he bolted down the street. 

~*~*~

Steve didn’t return to the bookshop on Fulton for five days.

When he did, he walked in with a black eye and a split lip, a limp noticeable in his gait as he stepped into the dim interior and scanned the shop for his favorite bookseller. Spotting Jesse in the young adult section he approached, stopping quickly to snatch up _Drums of Autumn_ from the shelf. “Jesse!” he called out to the other man and smiled as he whirled in response. His hair had been re-dyed, the streak now a neon green and he approached Steve with a worried expression. 

“God, Steve! What the hell! Are you okay?” The questions were delivered frantically as Jesse rushed forward and stared up at Steve’s battered face. “You look like you went four rounds with a kangaroo. I wondered if you were okay, or if you had like… gotten hit by a bus or something reading on the way home.”

Steve laughed softly and he shook his head as he followed Jesse to the counter. “Thanks,” he said dryly. “I’m fine, just got banged up at work. Hazards of the job. Have you been alright? Sorry for running out so fast on Monday.” Jesse shook his head and scanned the book before ringing Steve up. “It’s fine, I’m just glad you’re alright. Hey… why do you only buy one book at a time? You obviously like the story enough to keep reading them, seems like it would save you a lot of time if you bought the other four all at once?” Steve handed over money for the book and took his change before offering Jesse a smile. “But if I did, I wouldn’t get to come visit you, would I?” he asked and stared at the shorter man who stood frozen, Steve’s change partially extended out to him. Jesse stammered wordlessly and flushed before handing over the change. “I mean you could come buy other series?” His suggestion came out hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure if Steve was serious when he had suggested it. Steve smiled and pocketed his change. “Maybe. Would you like to get dinner? Maybe tomorrow night?” He offered softly. He hadn’t been able to get his mind off the book clerk when he had been stuck in Yugoslavia and he was hoping that Jesse would agree to the date. Jesse squeaked and then nodded quickly. “Yes! Yeah… uh, yeah, that would be cool,” he offered excitedly and then tugged his phone out and flicked it open to add a new contact and handed the phone over. 

Steve made quick work of adding his phone number and texting himself so that he could save Jesse’s number. “I’ll pick you up at seven, send me your address?” He requested and got a quick nod and a shy smile in response. Steve reached over to squeeze Jesse’s hand lightly and then nodded before disappearing from the shop. Getting home was always an adventure. Especially when you lived in New York. But the time on the subway meant Steve had the ability to devour the first four chapters of the book and he stumbled upstairs to the common room to settle on the couch and start on chapter five. He barely recognized the sound of another person entering the common room but startled when Tony sat down next to him. His spicy cologne surrounded Steve before it was infiltrated with the smell of butter and popcorn. He looked up from his book at the distracting smells to find Tony staring at the television as he flicked something up on the screen from his tablet. “You know, Cap,” came the idle start of a sentence. “That book series you’re so caught up in? Got turned into a tv show.” Brown eyes turned to meet blue and Tony’s face split in a wide, expectant grin. 

Steve’s eyes snapped up to the screen as a woman began singing and he turned to stare at Steve. “Jarvis, remind me tomorrow at 4 pm that I have an appointment if I’m not already getting ready for it,” he said as he put the book off to the side and Tony laughed and passed him a bowl of popcorn. 

Fin.


End file.
